Happiness - Create it, do not go looking for it

What positive psychology tells us about happiness.

We hear and use sentences like "I'm looking for happiness", "I'm searching for what makes me happy". There is even a movie called "The pursuit of happiness".

What is wrong with those sentences?

Happiness is not something you can find. It doesn't exist anywhere to be found. Happiness is not a destination. But it is not a journey either!

Then there are times we ask ourselves - Can money buy happiness? Can love make me happy?

Short answer: No.

Slightly longer answer: Yes, money can help facilitate behaviours and activities that you can engage in to create your happiness. Love can also facilitate. But love isn't the solution to happiness.

There must be some answer to the question - 'what makes you happy?'
I'll discuss this in the light of positive psychology research on happiness. There are some really robust strategies you should know about. Hold on for a sec. First things first...

So what is happiness?

A Typical answer - it's a feeling*

A Psychological answer - it is a state of mind with respect to your environment that endows you with a high frequency of positive emotions, constructive thoughts, and healthy coping with hard times.

*Notice how people often ask 'how to feel happy?'

Let us get to the core of what science says about happiness.

Now that we've looked at the psychology definition of happiness, does it sound like happiness can be found?

To psychology, happiness is a creative process. By creative, I mean, the person who seeks authentic happiness 'creates' it.

Here are strategies that you can employ to create happiness in your own personal situation. These are techniques that have been scientifically studied and proven to be effective for enabling happiness in your life.

Happiness, Img Src: Sclondriver

Note: Positive psychology is the study of human well-being, not just happiness. The science of happiness has evolved significantly based on understanding factors that improve the quality of life. These strategies are for all 3 - happiness, a better quality of life, and overall wellbeing. They go hand in hand.

Here are 8 strategies to create happiness

1 Express gratitude: This is perhaps the simplest of all habits Included in this article. Expressing gratitude is being thankful for things other people do that help or gratify you in some way. It is actively acknowledging the effort put in by others and extending a warm ‘Thank you’. One benefit is that while expressing gratitude, negative emotions like guilt, envy and sorrow are deterred. During personal adversity or loss, thanking of any form helps cope with stress and grief. Thanking someone for their good deed encourages them to repeat a good deed and it even bolsters your motivation to do the same. (Lyubomirsky 2007).


2 Cultivate optimism and reduce overthinking: Everyone suffers and has disappointment. It’s a part of our existence to battle through tough times and emerge victoriously. Cultivating optimism is akin to being hopeful and striving to do whatever it takes to reduce your suffering so you can expect a better tomorrow. It’s a fight for a better future. A hurdle to this is overthinking. Overthinking can make you pessimistic by pushing you into a slippery slope of losing hope and thereby unnecessary focus on the negative aspects. It often prevents one from gaining insight into the problem and obscures positive outcomes.


3 Nurture and seek social bonds: This is one of the most taken-for-granted aspects of living. The brain is wired in such a way that our mental well-being is directly related to our social intimacy. Our species grows in society, not in isolation; as social bonding gives us a number of benefits. A system of ‘mirror neurons’, with profound value, is dedicated to social cognition (Lacoboni 2008). Talking with people help us alleviate stress, cope with disasters and mitigate feelings of loneliness. Personal investment in building a relationship is a source of genuine happiness among people. If your day feels empty, work to better your relationship with someone. Social relationships help you adapt to your environment with the least amount of stress even in situations involving death and heartbreak.


4 Experience Flow: You may have heard about people saying that they are in the ‘zone’: a period of intense concentration, satisfaction, temporal distortion and oneness of the thoughts and activities you are doing. Researchers describe this a state which has a high amount of intrinsic reward as a ‘Flow’ state (Csikszentmihalyi 1990). This reward is biochemical in nature: neural excitation in neural pathways that involve endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin; resulting into ‘feeling good’ (Buckner 2014).








5 Aesthetic appreciation: Our attention is limited and our brains choose what to ignore. Most objects in our environment are ignored unless they are distracting and/or important. Take a moment and notice the beauty of objects around you. Notice the architecture of your workplace or the scent of a flower. Deliberate effort to engross yourself in the appreciation of aesthetic qualities is a sure shot way to embrace pleasurable moments. It is only when you observe and look for the good you see the good. Make an attempt to negate the confirmation bias.


6 Participate in faith: Empirical research (Lyubomirsky 2007) does indicate that having a social/spiritual/religious belief system is positively correlated with having better well-being. This does not mean that you have to partake in religion. Any belief is fine if it makes you feel that you are a part of something larger, have something to look forward to, and something that promotes helping others. Man searches for meaning in different ways, even if it is the harshest of times (Frankl 1946). Whether you look at the universe from the point of view of a spiritual quest or science or religious scriptures, any point of view with a sense of meaning can bring you feelings of safety, purpose, and unity in the context of the bigger picture.


7 Take care of your body: It may be a cliché to say “Healthy body makes a healthy mind”, but nevertheless, tonnes of research supports this notion (Fox 1999). Exercise releases endorphins which make you feel revitalized. Another aspect is that your body image (how you perceive your body to be) is directly related to your sense of self and affects your self-esteem (attitude towards oneself). The better you feel about how you look and the better you feel about yourself. A simple goal you can maintain is exercising your body in fresh air 3 to 4 times a week at least. Taking part in a sports activity, a 30-minute long jog/walk or even Yoga and Pilates at home can do wonders for how you feel about yourself.


8 The biological feedback loop: The brain follows a mechanism which is popularly called ‘Fake it until you make it’ (Hanna 2010). So if you force yourself to smile, the muscles you use send out a signal back to the brain engaging the same circuits that make you feel joy. If you do this for a few times, the brain will behave as if it’s genuine joy. This was demonstrated empirically in a research study (Dana R. Carney 2010) where posing like a leader enhanced the associated biochemical interactions making you feel powerful. Simply tell yourself that you are having a good day and you’ll have one.

Book recommendation: 

These techniques are based on this excellent book called the 'How of happiness' by Sonja Lyubomirsky. The book is quite exhaustive, scientifically accurate, and is held in high regard in the positive psychology industry. Click the link below to buy it from Amazon. Trust me, you'd find it extremely insightful. 

Summary:

Learn to express gratitude, reduce overthinking, cultivate social bonds, take a liking into the arts, take care of your body, adhere to a way of life (science, Buddhist, hippie, etc.), put on a happy show, experience being in the 'zone'. These strategies will help you create authentic happiness.


Works cited: 

Buckner, Clark. 2014. 4 Chemicals That Activate Happiness, and How to Gamify Them. July 11. Accessed January 28, 2016. http://technologyadvice.com/podcast/blog/activate-chemicals-gamify-happiness-nicole-lazzaro/.

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. 1990. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York City: Harper & Row.

Dana R. Carney, Amy J.C. Cuddy, Andy J. Yap. 2010. "Power Posing : Brief Nonverbal Displays Affect Neuroendocrine Levels and Risk Tolerance." Psychological Science 1363-1368.

Fox, Kenneth R. 1999. "The influence of physical activity on mental well-being." Cambridge University Press 411-418.

Frankl, Viktor. 1946. Man's Search for Meaning. Vienna: Verlag für Jugend und Volk .

Hanna, Julia. 2010. Working Knowledge: The thinking that leads. September 20. Accessed January 28, 2016. http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/power-posing-fake-it-until-you-make-it.

Lacoboni, M. 2008. "Imitation, empathy, and mirror neurons." Annual Review of Psychology 653-670.

Lyubomirsky, Sonja. 2007. The How of Happiness. London: Penguin Press.

Further reading:

What not to say to depressed people
What to say to depressed people